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5 Dreadfully Boring Super Cars

Posted in Featured, Ferrari, Lexus, Lotus, Mercedes Benz, Porsche by MrAngry | January 10th, 2011 | 11 Responses |

Performance cars as a whole have a lot to live up to. They need to have supermodel looks, Olympic athlete performance and a presence that can push Brad and Angelina out of the spotlight at any given moment. Not only do manufacturers need to accomplish this, but they need to do it in such away that people will lay out big money for their creations. Right now the North American International Auto Show is going on in Detroit and within those walls are some of the most righteous creations ever to hit the tarmac. Porsche for instance is there with their stellar new 918 RSR, as is Cadillac with the new CTS-V Coupe SCCA racer. Both of these machines stem from amazing road cars that have not only peaked our imagination, but have gotten us excited for things to come. Sometimes auto makers put out cars that are simply lackluster and for one reason or another, just don’t resonate with consumers. Below is a listing of 5 cars that have outstanding performance numbers, but are about as exciting as watching water boil.

• Lexus LFA


*Photo: Lexus Press

It goes 0-60 mph in under 4-seconds, tops out at 202 mph and reminds me of a Nissan Maxima. A super car like the Lexus LFA should not only excite us, but make us want to sell body parts to get. The LFA though simply does none of this. On the inside it feels decidedly bland and does not evoke the emotion a $375,000 car should. Seriously, I get more spiced up when I see a nicely tricked out Dodge Dart.

• Porsche Panamera Turbo

Porsche Panamera Turbo

I just can’t wrap my head around a car that looks like a giant turtle. On the street or track, these big sedans are nothing short of impressive and can put the hurt on just about anything out there. Visually though, my God, what a travesty.

• Ferrari California

Ferrari California

If you’re female, own a pocket dog and live in L.A., then the Ferrari California is for you. Thank God Ferrari has cars like the 458 Italia and 599, because this little drop top will suck the testosterone out of you faster then Lindsey Lohan can knock back an 8-ball of coke – it’s terrible.

• Mercedes-Benz SL65

2009 Mercedes SL Class AMG

Look at these numbers for a moment: 604-horsepower and 738 lb-ft of torque. People, that’s enough power to pull the continents back together if you wanted to. Sure the Mercedes-Benz SL65 has all the power in the world, but it looks better suited to hanging out in front of a high fashion boutique or night club then at any type of performance venue. If I were the engine in the SL65, I’d be embarrassed of the clothes I was wearing.

• Lotus Evora

Lotus Evora

It’s got the same V6 engine that you’ll find in the Toyota Rav4, it has four seats and styling so bland that it makes a Hyundai Genesis look good. I speak of course about the Lotus Evora, the Elise’s chubbier younger brother. I understand that the Evora is a car intended to have a broader audience appeal, but anything that wears the Lotus name, should be much more exciting to look at than this.

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